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We connected and acknowledged discreetly that we had gotten each others messages. That was two long months ago.
Maybe you changed your mind, maybe you think I have. My missing your hints until weeks later do not help. I'm not sure. But it's obvious that the connection is still missed. For whatever reason, in person direct communication hasn't happened, but I need you to know this.
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Regardless of you, regardless of anything that's happened here, my current relationship is ending. We've talked about it several times over the past year, but unfortunately there is a lot of anger and threats that make things difficult for me to leave. I'll go into more detail through if you can tell me where the conversation I referenced in my subject line took place. I just wanted you to know that you're not getting mixed als as a result of my playing games with you or not knowing what I want.
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The mixed als are a result of me trying to lay low until the right time, while also trying to let you know I'm still thinking of you. There are plans in place that I'm carrying out regardless of you having any further role in my life. Lastly, you are the most amazing person I've ever known. Never give up on yourself, and never forget that someone cares very much for you. I still believe that you're someone I need next to me.
I still hope for "us", and I don't think that will ever change. I've given up trying to convince myself that you're not the one for me. Every time I decide to forget you, I start seeing your name everywhere and having all kinds of creepy dreams until I finally surrender again. I hope whatever you've decided about us brings you peace and I hope you find happiness. Honestly, I hope it's with me but that's something you need to feel ok about.
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