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I'm very focused. Now that is my answer for sex.
That answer has always been true for me, even before I identified as kinky. For me, BDSM or not include sex. When I'm being beaten or tortured in some other way, I am both present and wandering.
I'm present physiy, feeling every sensation, each touch, every breath, hearing every word. But my mind is often sort of free-floating on its own. Sometimes I follow a story or simply visualize a series of colors that represent the physical sensations.
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I don't have time, or the anymore to deal with drama or being treated poorly by anyone anymore. Its a tough way to be, but I've avoided a lot of the crap I thought was just part of life. While it is part of life, and there is crap in life.
Some crap I just dont' deal with anymore. Everyone has their boundries and their baggage. It changes as time goes by.
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I also think even though I'm more persnickity now I'm also more laid back, and can handle the same sitches I avoid better in my age. I breath much easier on levels. But I also have a harder time in other aspects of life.